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Why Sex After Kids is Like Dating in High School

I think most of us have been there – sex after having kids (especially that first time) is … different. I decided to be honest about my feelings and share with other moms that we didn’t just pick up where we left off before the kids came. Sure, some women boast about their sexual activity, but who knows if that’s the truth or not. Frankly, I don’t care if they are telling the truth or if they are lying. I just want to let other moms know they aren’t alone if they feel a change.

sex after having kids

One thing that was left out of all the pregnancy books and classes I went through during my first pregnancy was the topic of sex after kids. Sure, I learned I would have to wait six weeks after giving birth before getting busy again, but I wasn’t told the full story….

My darling husband was very understanding and patient. Well, as patient as he could be. He’d drop hints and cop a feel, but I felt uncomfortable in my new mom body. It wasn’t just the fact that I’d given birth that made me hesitant.

[Read the rest of my article featured at Circle of Moms]

So let me know what you thought of my article in the comments below!


Image credit: Ambro of Free Digital Photos


Tuesday 29th of January 2013

I hear you. Having babies is rough on the body! My daughter is 15 and it still isn't the same! I think age also has a lot to do with libido {or lack thereof}. :)


Darcy Zalewski

Wednesday 30th of January 2013

Lots of factors for sure! I'm not as put off the second time around which is interesting.

Stacey @ Newlywed Survival

Sunday 27th of January 2013

Great article, Darcy! It is wonderful to hear someone be so honest about a subject that people don't really talk about.

Darcy Zalewski

Monday 28th of January 2013

Thank you, Stacey! I know it was something I felt embarrassed about and wondered if something was wrong with me after my daughter was born....then I slowly learned it was more common than I thought.


Saturday 26th of January 2013

My husband tells me all the time that he misses the lady that he dated, haha! Things changed so much after our son was born. I felt different, things worked a little different, and honestly, it still hurts from time to time. We are still learning how to do things 5 years later, but it is getting more and more fun every time.

Darcy Zalewski

Monday 28th of January 2013

I hear you on things working differently! And on hurting sometimes still. I mean our whole body adjusted to accommodate these babies ...I'd be amazed if they returned completely to normal. My favorite shirts and underwear don't lol

Christy Ann

Saturday 26th of January 2013

Great article! This is so helpful for new moms who don't know what to expect. It is different for everyone, but I think we all go through those same feelings and changes. Not only we, the new moms, go through changes and experience different emotions regarding sex, but the new dads do too. It's wonderful that you guys have "gotten your groove back" after your first child. It is so important to remember that your relationship and intimacy are just as important as the new baby! Thank you for sharing your story!

Tahlia B.

Saturday 26th of January 2013

It's true, it's like learning about your body all over again. I don't know how people can jump right in. I need to be feeling it to do it - and after the baby, I had no desire at all.