As women, we take on a lot. In the process of being a parent, spouse, and employee, we become a super woman. Unfortunately, we often tell ourselves things like these lies. In an effort to help my fellow “super women” be able to manage life better, I want to share a reminder of some lies women believe.
I used to tell myself these lies (and more) EVERY DAY. Now, I'm not perfect, but I do my best to take care of myself better.
Taking care of myself (and not believing these lies) makes me a better mother than I used to be.
If you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and irritated with the kids MORE than you feel happy – we need to save your sanity STAT. Remember, you are not alone, and you can do this!
It's a process, I know, but let's talk about this.
5 Horrifying Lies Women Believe
Remember, everything you see on the outside isn’t always how it looks on the outside. Many of us look like superwomen to the casual observer, and yet we often times are a few seconds from crumbling.
This comes from a set of beliefs that many women take on and they really don’t have to. In fact, they’re not just innocent beliefs, they are lies.
“I’m not overwhelmed”
Have you ever told yourself this? Or tried to convince your mom friends that you aren't overwhelmed? I have.
There is a cultural trend towards valuing productivity over life quality, and it is a dangerous one. Every woman is encouraged to find her identity in the things she does rather than the things she is.
Before you know it, you have jammed your schedule full of activities and projects that you don’t even care about, much less want to do. We get overwhelmed.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting down with your planner and clearing house. Leave only the projects that speak to who you are and what you would like to do unless there is absolutely no way to back out of them.
Stop lying to yourself. You are overwhelmed, and there is nothing wrong with admitting that.
In fact, it's time to start working to no longer be so overwhelmed, so you truly can be the super woman you are meant to become.
“I don’t need sleep”
This ties directly into our obsession with productivity and is probably one of the most common lies women believe. I used to struggle with this one because it felt like sleep was taking away precious hours that I could be up DOING something, even if that something is clipping coupons and folding laundry while your body is crying out for sleep.
I'd stay up all hours of the night, then wake up immediately irritated and crabby. Sure, motherhood is riddled with sleeplessness, but we don't need to keep depriving ourselves of sleep.
Stop this immediately.
No matter what you’re doing, whether you’re an entrepreneur or a stay at home mom (or both), you are going to need a fully rested body in order to make it happen. This is a difficult task to take on when there are only a few hours in the day and you feel like the only way to manage your time is to cut your shut eye.
This is when you have to become intentional. It is important to make time to sleep, set an alarm if you have to: one for prep time (30-40 minutes before bedtime) and another for bedtime (that means to put down the phone or laptop and go to bed). You will be amazed at the difference the proper sleep will make in your life.
If you struggle with quieting your mind when your head hits the pillow, I highly suggest checking out the Calm app. I love listening to the sleep stories – I am rarely awake by the end of it.
“I can do it all”
Just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. There is more than one way to accomplish a task, and you do not have to do it all. So many times we get caught up in our vision of the way things should be, and we take on whole tasks in order to make it happen.
Before you know it, you are doing far more than you should, neglecting your sleep and feeling overwhelmed. (Do you see how this all fits together?)
It is time for you to let go of the reins. Learn how to delegate some of these tasks and to stop expecting perfection. Someone else can help you, and it is OK. I promise!
“I’ll keep my feelings to myself”
Everybody has feelings, and you are NOT the exception. It is easy to become embarrassed and hide our feelings because we fear that someone will find out we have problems and judge us.
One of the biggest lies women believe is that we can handle everything, especially the emotions. While we wish this was true, it just isn't. We need help from others. Whether it is a shoulder to cry on or someone to give sound advice, we can't keep it all inside without imploding.
You’re not an island unto yourself, and your feelings matter. Find someone who you can be honest with and talk to, someone trustworthy who will not betray your confidences.
“I’ll take care of myself when . . .”
Self-care is not an option. Repeat that to yourself until you believe it.
Self-care is not an option. Repeat that to yourself until you believe it. Self-care is not something that you can only do when you feel like it, or when your deadline is met.
Self-care is meeting your basic needs: the need for sleep, for relaxation, for food.
Do any of those sound like activities that should be skipped? Would you advise any of your friends to neglect them in favor of some future time that never seems to come?
Of course, you wouldn’t!
Yet everyday women neglect their self-care in favor of their children, spouses, or jobs. There is no reward for the most sleepy woman or the woman who is so stressed out she’ll pop like a guitar string any moment now. Prioritize yourself, and the pieces will fall into place.
It sounds difficult, and it will be at first, but it is time to put the costume away. You’re not super woman, you’re just an incredible woman who is conquering her corner of the world. Take care of yourself, and don’t worry about the S on your chest. These lies women believe? You don't need to any longer.
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