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10 Things I Can’t Believe I Said to My Toddler

Sometimes I can’t believe the things my daughter says to me, better yet, I can’t believe some of the things that come out of my mouth. Taken out of context many things I say to my toddler sounds very, very strange. I wish I kept better track of some of the more hilarious ones… like when she’s dawdling and blocking my way to the bathroom. Being pregnant it’s much harder to hold my bladder when I really have to go. I’ve been known to warn my daughter to move or she might get peed on…

Here are 10 things I’ve said to my daughter that you might not have ever said to your kids….

  1. You smell like a rubber giraffe.
  2. Please don’t put your toys in my pants.
  3. You can’t stand in the window without a diaper on!
  4. Don’t touch the cat’s butt.
  5. Get your foot out of the cat’s water!
  6. We don’t spit on people, only in the sink.
  7. No you don’t make mama milk until you are older and have your own baby.
  8. Don’t touch me with your peanut butter hands!
  9. Please take my underwear off of your head, it’s not a hat or a necklace.
  10. Stop licking the couch!

What’s something you’ve told your kids that you don’t think another mom has said to hers?

Bonus forgotten one – “No dancing on tables!”

Mama’s Losin’ It


Monday 29th of October 2012

LOL love the pants one, my kids thought everything belonged down my shirt! Motherhood gotta love it...or just live through it!


Thursday 1st of November 2012

Oh yes down the shirt too! I don't get the fascination lol

Sarah @ East9thStreet

Saturday 27th of October 2012

Quit eating so much fruit - yes, I told my daughter to stop eating things that were healthy for her. That kid can eat an entire pint of strawberries in one sitting!


Thursday 1st of November 2012

LOL I've had to stop Rissa from eating all our raisins in one sitting before so I can relate.


Friday 26th of October 2012

In the last week I have told my toddler: Stop licking the couch Get that cup out of the toilet! (This was immediately followed by:) NO!!!! Don't drink the water from the toilet!


Thursday 1st of November 2012

Oh my goodness! The things I've saved from the toilet lol


Thursday 25th of October 2012

I have said several of these to my kids. one I just recently said to my (almost) 3 year old, "Don't kiss my boobs!"

a few others:: 'Don't lick the cat" "Don't drink the toilet water!" "mommy is not a jungle gym!" "tables are for glasses not for A...butts" "you cant go outside naked!" "the cat is NOT a stuffed animal!" "keep your hands out of your butt"

i know I have said other things, but I just dont remember them all


Thursday 1st of November 2012

LOL why do they have to touch so many butts?

Allyson Bossie

Thursday 25th of October 2012

omg, 'Stop putting Butt cream on your lips! True story, my last, he's 3.5 was putting Budreaux's butt paste on his lips! My second favorite, is WHAT is hiding in your pants? Yes, he steals things and hides them in his pants, sigh


Thursday 1st of November 2012

haha I can see my DD trying to hide things in her pants...