Tales From the Nursery

Tales From the Nursery: The Toddler Years

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Why Sex After Kids is Like Dating in High School

I think most of us have been there – sex after having kids (especially that first time) is … different.  I decided to be honest about my feelings and share with other moms that we didn’t just pick up where we left off before the kids came.  Sure, some women boast about their sexual activity, but who knows if that’s the truth or not.  Frankly, I don’t care if they are telling the truth or if they are lying.  I just want to let other moms know they aren’t alone if they feel a change.

sex after having kids

One thing that was left out of all the pregnancy books and classes I went through during my first pregnancy was the topic of sex after kids. Sure, I learned I would have to wait six weeks after giving birth before getting busy again, but I wasn’t told the full story….

My darling husband was very understanding and patient. Well, as patient as he could be. He’d drop hints and cop a feel, but I felt uncomfortable in my new mom body. It wasn’t just the fact that I’d given birth that made me hesitant.

[Read the rest of my article featured at Circle of Moms]

So let me know what you thought of my article in the comments below!


Image credit: Ambro of Free Digital Photos

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Comments ( 10 )

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  1. Allyson Bossie January 26, 2013 Reply

    You know, it took us a good 3 years after my last one (Been together 6 years) to get back into more than once a month. It wasn’t me it was him. We have a very open communication marriage so it wasn’t that my body changed, etc. He just got comfortable in less frequency. Nothing is every the same after kids, but it is better :D
    Allyson Bossie recently posted..Glow Crazy Distance Doodler Review and Giveaway 2/18!MyW1ldcrazylife

  2. Mystika January 26, 2013 Reply

    My situation is a tad different. I didn’t meet my hubby till after I was a mom. There’s times I wish he had had the opportunity to have known my pre-pregnancy/birth body, but I’ve quickly gotten over that hang up. Strangely now, the more kids we have the better and more frequent our life in the bedroom has become. I don’t really think that has anything to do with the kids though, but more the result of our relationship after years and years of progression. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been with him for more than 1/3 of my life. I think that really helps add to the love and intimacy and exploration that one can have beneath the sheets ;) But I DO yearn for a quieter bed….

  3. Tahlia B. January 26, 2013 Reply

    It’s true, it’s like learning about your body all over again. I don’t know how people can jump right in. I need to be feeling it to do it – and after the baby, I had no desire at all.
    Tahlia B. recently posted..The Hardest Thing About Blogging…Writing

  4. Christy Ann January 26, 2013 Reply

    Great article! This is so helpful for new moms who don’t know what to expect. It is different for everyone, but I think we all go through those same feelings and changes. Not only we, the new moms, go through changes and experience different emotions regarding sex, but the new dads do too. It’s wonderful that you guys have “gotten your groove back” after your first child. It is so important to remember that your relationship and intimacy are just as important as the new baby! Thank you for sharing your story!
    Christy Ann recently posted..Emerald and Polka Dot Nailsz853www

  5. JanetGoingCrazy January 26, 2013 Reply

    My husband tells me all the time that he misses the lady that he dated, haha! Things changed so much after our son was born. I felt different, things worked a little different, and honestly, it still hurts from time to time. We are still learning how to do things 5 years later, but it is getting more and more fun every time.
    JanetGoingCrazy recently posted..That Crazy Man I Love {and how often}JanetGoingCrazy

    • Darcy Zalewski January 28, 2013 Reply

      I hear you on things working differently! And on hurting sometimes still. I mean our whole body adjusted to accommodate these babies …I’d be amazed if they returned completely to normal. My favorite shirts and underwear don’t lolDarcyZalewski

  6. Great article, Darcy! It is wonderful to hear someone be so honest about a subject that people don’t really talk about.
    Stacey @ Newlywed Survival recently posted..e-decorating from Ethos Designnewlywedsurvive

    • Darcy Zalewski January 28, 2013 Reply

      Thank you, Stacey! I know it was something I felt embarrassed about and wondered if something was wrong with me after my daughter was born….then I slowly learned it was more common than I thought.DarcyZalewski

  7. Dawn January 29, 2013 Reply

    I hear you. Having babies is rough on the body! My daughter is 15 and it still isn’t the same! I think age also has a lot to do with libido {or lack thereof}. :)

    Dawn recently posted..Girls’ Night In With Kleenex and Vudu.com @Kleenex #SharetheSoft #cbias #sponthenewclassy

    • Darcy Zalewski January 30, 2013 Reply

      Lots of factors for sure! I’m not as put off the second time around which is interesting.DarcyZalewski

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