Tales From the Nursery

Tales From the Nursery: The Toddler Years

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Never Say Never With Infertility

When talking about the issues we had conceiving our daughter, I was always hesitant to use the word infertility. I’d leave it at issues conceiving, but did not consider myself to be dealing with infertility. To me, infertility was a major issue diagnosed by a doctor that said I could never have children of my own…or at least not in the conventional way.

But, that’s not correct. Infertility is defined as unable to conceive naturally after 12 months of trying.


Good lord, we tried for 3 years before finally being blessed with Rissa. Yet I still hate saying I had infertility problems. We don’t really know why we struggled. Infertility is this big scary unknown that plagues lots of couples. It’s stressful, it’s painful, and others just don’t “get it.”

Believe me, the hardest thing to hear is “why aren’t you pregnant yet? Get on it!” like lack of effort was the problem. We knew the main problem was my irregular ovulation cycle. We don’t know WHY it was irregular, but we knew we were working with the need to shoot blindly into the dark.

Now, we did end up conceiving naturally. It IS possible for some (not all) to still achieve this without the aid of fertility drugs and procedures. The testing we had done was frustrating because everything came back “normal and healthy.” We just kept trying. The window for conception is pretty small and like searching for a needle in a haystack when you don’t have a regular cycle to go by.

And who knows why it suddenly worked? Was it just our timing was always off? Or did some other factors help make way finally?

I just know it was a relief. And I hope it can give someone else hope that they can overcome infertility too.

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Comments ( 8 )

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  1. I hate saying that there’s a bright side to me having friends dealing with infertility but there is – I now know not to ask those questions that I can only imagine are like a knife to your heart. IMO it’s nobody’s business but the couple’s own as to why they don’t have kids at a certain time.

    I’m glad Rissa is here and you were able to find that needle in the haystack. :)
    Maggie @ Tethered Mommy recently posted..Mother’s Day Giveaway Extravaganza! Ends 5/5

  2. Cyndy L April 26, 2012 Reply

    I will never understand why others feel it’s acceptable to ask why a couple doesn’t have children YET. Before I was married, it was “when are you going to get married?” and then as soon as you’re married “when are you going to get pregnant?” I can only imagine the emotions of trying for 3 years and I am so happy for you that the journey led to Rissa. Sometimes it’s just out of our hands, isn’t it?
    Cyndy L recently posted..Don’t miss the juicy details! #Blogmania 12 GiveawayMamaDoesItAll

  3. Tiffany Cruz April 26, 2012 Reply

    Great post. Rissia is beautiful and you’re so blessed. Every child is a blessings. That must have been tough on you and your husband. 3 years is a long time but definitely worth it :)
    Tiffany Cruz recently posted..Jungle Roo Cloth Diaper ReviewFabFindsbyNGxo

  4. Gena April 26, 2012 Reply

    I was one of the naive ones who thought, “oh, just get off BCP and have sex and boom! pregnant!” WRONG! I wasn’t ever considered “infertile” but with a body that would not ovulate on it’s own, that’s the path we were headed. Having difficulty conceiving is hard…whether it’s been one month or three years…goodness, three years….did you suffer from depression or anything like that? I can’t imagine. HUGE hugs to you and yeah….Rissa seems very well worth the wait! I hope you don’t have to wait nearly next time. HUGS!
    Gena recently posted..National Infertility Awareness Week: One Woman’s Long, Painful Journey To MotherhoodCptFussybuckets

    • Gena April 26, 2012 Reply

      and yeah, just realized that asking if you suffered from depression wasn’t a tactful choice. none of my business! LOL! sorry
      Gena recently posted..Three Year Olds are Weird.CptFussybuckets

  5. Kathleen April 26, 2012 Reply

    Great post and so true, however, I must admit I thought you were going to announce a pregnancy with this post. I have a friend who had two children she tried for years to conceive and she did not end up conceiving naturally, she used IVF I believe. I wish everyone could get pregnant when they want to (and not pregnant when they don’t)
    Kathleen recently posted..GIVEAWAY: Blogmania–My Baby Compass Kit (RV $99) US/CAN #blogmania12callista83

  6. andie May 2, 2012 Reply

    Oh man, I used to get so mad at people asking when we were going to have a baby. Granted, we put off really “trying” until I hit 30 (6 years after we got hitched). I have the same problem, irregular cycles. We tried for 5 years before resorting to visiting a fertility doctor. We started the testing, including an internal ultrasound right then. “Hey, you’re ovulating right now!” And then I was pregnent! Seriously, all we needed was a doctor and a $30 co-pay and BAM!

    Now, I need to get people off my back about have another. Jeez, it never ends.StickFigureLife

    • Darcy May 5, 2012 Reply

      It never ends.. When you getting married? Kids? More kids? Grand kids? Ahhh!

      I think it’s crazy just how small the ovulation window is and stabbing in the dark makes for harder work. Glad it worked out in the end though!DarcyZalewski

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