This is also known as Baby Law or the Law of Babies. Anytime my daughter adheres to one of these, I tell my husband it must be Baby Law to do so.
The Ten Commandments of Babies
- Thou shalt not sleep when requested or expected of you. Thou shall sleep when you’re not supposed to, such as through a bandsaw midday.
- Thou shall put all objects in thy mouth. If thoust cannot pick it up, you shall lean over to suck on it.
- Whence in trouble, thou shall clap or make a silly face. Thy parents cannot resist cuteness and you’ll be celebrated for your cheekiness.
- Thou shalt not ever completely empty thy bladder for you must pee whence thy diaper is removed.
- Thou shall confuse thy mama and dada by calling everyone and everything dada.
- Thou shalt not use a plate and shall eat off thy floor.
- Thou shall covet all things gadgety and containing buttons.
- Thou shall be excited by peekaboo and patty cake and random items around the house rather than expensive toys.
- Thou shalt not covet another baby’s mama and shall mark thy own with eau de spitup… on every blouse she owns.
- Thou shall always be curious and find a way to defeat any and all babyproofing items.