This week’s topic is about fertility and sex.
As you may imagine, this will be quite a personal post. Possibly including too much information (despite the PG rating). Read on if you dare…
I figured having a baby would affect our sexual relationship. I just didn’t realize how much.
When I was pregnant, we slowed it down a bit, but were still intimate often enough. The biggest challenge was getting me into a comfy position. Let me tell ya, that changed a lot as my belly grew.
Right after having Rissa, I didn’t even have time to think about getting down ‘n dirty. I was happy when we were “all clear” at my six week postpartum appointment. But that ended up not meaning much of anything. We’ve had moments of intimacy since babygirl arrived, but not fully doing the deed.
Part of it is still my fear about how it will feel (I had a second degree tear and stitches). Part of it is my fear of leaking milk. Most of it has to do with the overall lack of time and privacy.
Hubby has been great. I know he still finds me attractive – breastfeeding has not deterred this. I still can see myself as sexy (even bought a sexy, lacey nursing bra recently!), but I don’t know. I’m getting a good case of wife guilt, I think.
As for the fertility part… I know my chances of getting pregnant while breastfeeding is low. My cycle hasn’t resumed (but based on pre-pregnancy, that doesn’t mean a damn thing). I know we want another, but no clue when that will start.
You know, really, it’s not breastfeeding that’s affecting us so much as my own insecurities. That and Rissa’s strong need/desire to be attached to my hip.
Wednesday 6th of April 2011
You're right, it's not really breastfeeding but pregnancy and childbirth that affects sex.
With my second child, I had a fourth degree tear. Sex was painful for a long time but I learned what positions and what movements hurt less and it still felt good too. You have to go really slow and it's better if you are in um, a position where you are in control. If you do the moving you can do whatever doesn't hurt or stop if it does hurt. Hope that helps.
Jen - Life With Levi
Friday 1st of April 2011
WHAT?!?!? There's a sexy lacy nursing bra? I need one. Please tell me where to find it.
Also, love the honesty of this post. And I think it's awesome that your husband still finds you sexy. I think the majority of the time that's true, but it's easy to doubt your appeal after having a baby.
Thanks for linking up to the Breastfeeding Blog Hop this week!