Dear Toddlers

2013-02-08 09.51.10

Dear Toddlers,

You are fun and frustrating and full of energy. Pure energy that suddenly implodes, often unpredictably, but usually nothing a quick nap or mama snuggles can’t fix.

Or a snack. Like a cookie. That always perks you right up.

I do have a few questions for you though. Things that have been weighing on my mind as I observe you in your natural habitats. Solo or in a pack – it doesn’t matter. Feel free to answer as many of these questions as you can, okay?

  1. What is so fascinating about the cat’s water?
  2. And the cat’s food?
  3. And tail and ears? Okay – the whole cat?
  4. Why do you lick random things like windows, mirrors, and screen doors?
  5. What is the deal with Wonder Pets?
  6. Who taught you selective hearing techniques?
  7. Can you read minds? I swear as soon as I think “don’t touch [insert item here]” you touch it.
  8. Did you study DVD player manuals while in the womb?
  9. What’s in your nose? You are constantly digging for something.
  10. Do you have a secret food source or do you somehow convert air into fuel?

I’ll stop there for now. You really do fascinate me, especially when around others of your own kind. I recently witnessed a group of toddlers who could not keep straight who’s juice box was who’s despite the different colored straws. Some of you had just met that day, yet you all kept trading juices and straws. Well, trading might imply too much. You would just pick up whatever one looked good or was the closest to you at any given time. I saw no less than 3 of you share one straw.

I could never do that at a party.

Or your fingers reaching into the bathroom sink drain or down the back of your diaper… you sem to lack all concept of gross, yuck, ew, and germs. Please advise me on how to convey the nastiness without fear of making you be a germaphobe? I want somewhere in the middle… you know, enough so I don’t have to worry about where your fingers have been before you try to stick them in your baby brother’s mouth.

Love Always,


*Linking up to Mama Kat


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14 Responses to “Dear Toddlers”
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