The Ten Commandments of Babies

This is also known as Baby Law or the Law of Babies. Anytime my daughter adheres to one of these, I tell my husband it must be Baby Law to do so.

The Ten Commandments of Babies

1. Thou shalt not sleep when requested or expected of you. Thou shall sleep when you’re not supposed to, such as through a bandsaw midday.
2. Thou shall put all objects in thy mouth. If thoust cannot pick it up, you shall lean over to suck on it.
3. Whence in trouble, thou shall clap or make a silly face. Thy parents cannot resist cuteness and you’ll be celebrated for your cheekiness.
4. Thou shalt not ever completely empty thy bladder for you must pee whence thy diaper is removed.
5. Thou shall confuse thy mama and dada by calling everyone and everything dada.
6. Thou shalt not use a plate and shall eat off thy floor.
7. Thou shall covet all things gadgety and containing buttons.
8. Thou shall be excited by peekaboo and patty cake and random items around the house rather than expensive toys.
9. Thou shalt not covet another baby’s mama and shall mark thy own with eau de spitup… on every blouse she owns.
10. Thou shall always be curious and find a way to defeat any and all babyproofing items.

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