Breastfeeding: Nursing In…A Funeral Home?
I don't have a lot of experience nursing in public even though I've been breastfeeding my daughter for three months. Until recently, the only places outside our home that I'd nurse were at the homes of family members. Mid-January that changed when we went out of town for my grandmother's funeral.
Along the way, we had to make stops for bathroom breaks, feedings, and diaper changes. A trip that normally would take my hubby and I three-ish hours to make took us four to five.
I finally had to break out of my comfort zone and nurse where ever as needed. I knew it'd happen sometime. Honestly, I was surprised it hadn't happened yet. (Although we usually time trips to the store pretty well.)
My first time nursing in public was in the backseat of our car in a gas station parking lot, which was still fairly private. We also used the parking lot of a Walgreens and a bank.
Probably the most interesting place to nurse was at the funeral home. Between the family viewing and service, I made myself comfortable on a couch in the backroom where the coffee was located. Still somewhat private since few people were in there. The funeral director and another worker walked past a couple times and looked my way, but no one said anything. I did have a blanket framing Rissa's head so it created more of a wall, but didn't cover her head up.
After the service we went to a local restaurant to eat with everyone. We had a room off the main dining area, but I managed to nurse her at our table. My hubby helped hold the blanket up as I got one girl out and situated before draping it over my shoulder and her head. I needed his help again when switching sides.
I don't really like covering her head up, but it doesn't feel right to me to just do it out in the open. It makes me feel vulnerable for some reason. Maybe due to the stigma and negativity that's been pushed onto nursing in public? I don't mind “showing” so much once my daughter is latched, but I don't like everyone watching as we get ready.
What about you – have you nursed in public? Does/did it make you feel uncomfortable?
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Darcy lives outside of Milwaukee, Wisconsin with her husband, their 8 year old daughter, 6 year old son, two cats, and a rescue dog. She loves to share kids crafts, simple recipes, and parenting tips to help other moms. She's passionate about education (which is why she is a PTO board member and Box Tops Coordinator) and all things babies. Darcy loves purple, geek culture, and making an ordinary life feel extraordinary. She and her family enjoy exploring Wisconsin and planning local adventures. Author of Breastfeeding 101: Beauty in Breastfeeding, available on Amazon. Her writing has also been featured on Babble, CafeMom, and Mom.me.
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I’ve not had to nurse in public per se. I’ve whipped it out at my aunt’s house and after doctor visits (before we get back in the car). I probably won’t ever breastfeed in public because if the sun is up, Alli wants to be able to check out her surroundings. I would be flashing everyone and I’m just not comfortable with that lol. I pump everyday from 9am until 3pm, even weekends. She feeds at night and the first feeding in the morning, sometimes if she’s extra tired, we can get a feed to get her down for a nap, but we don’t count on it.
I found you on the blog hop and I have say kudos for you for working past the uncomfortableness! With my first I had to go with the Husband to a funeral on his side and talk about awkward… I nursed in the bathroom! Now however… I don’t worry (as much). Can’t wait to read more of your blog!
Andie – I know what you mean about the flashing!
MJ – welcome! I’ll be making my way through the hop yet, didn’t want to rush reading 🙂
thanks for linking up for this week’s blog hop. i hope you come back next week!
i’m sure with more practice, you will become more comfortable! 🙂
Hi Marah, I plan to keep linking up to this hop! 🙂 I’m sure I’ll get more comfortable too. One thing’s for sure, I’m not going to NOT feed her b/c I’m feeling modest & shy.
While I have been quite comfortable breastfeeding my babies in public, a funeral home would have probably tested me, too. But I am sure the last thing they want at a funeral home (or anywhere else for that matter) is a baby who is screaming her head off. So for the sake of everyone else around you, as well as your baby’s sake, just keep on doing it!
Thanks Tat. The thing I didn’t add to the post was how I chose what to wear to the funeral. I was concerned about wearing dressy clothes & feeding – especially since I can’t always predict spit up!
I paired a dressy gray & black maternity top with a nursing cami. The maternity top made it easy to open up rather than lifting up.
How beautiful that you nursed at a funeral home! Where there was death you were providing life. The juxtaposition is just beautiful. As for nursing in public, I think it depends a lot on your environment and your community. I live in Brooklyn and nursing in public is almost as common as seeing a stroller on the sidewalk. My son is 6 months now but I was lucky and met and bonded with several other women early on who all had babies around the same time, and we get together and do things and breastfeed everywhere. There is always strength in numbers and thanks to them and the support from my husband and our families, I became very comfortable with nursing in public. Me and the moms even meet at a bar once a week before happy hour starts and there is less people, and we have one or two beers and nurse as needed. I also found that covering up just draws more attention. Now I wear big and comfortable tops that I can lift up from the bottom with my son’s head underneath. I find that if I put him under the shirt he can sniff out and latch on to the nipple on his own. He hunts it down like a lion hunts their prey. Ok not as vicious but you get the point! So there is no nipple displaying and the top acts as a protective cocoon of sorts. Anyway, she is a lucky little girl that you are breastfeeding her. People who look at you weird are just insecure themselves, or pervs. Either one.
I hadn’t thought of it that way – providing nourishment for life in the wake of death – but I like it 🙂
My family is quite supportive and when they ask if they should leave or offer a quiet room for me to nurse in, I know it’s about making me comfortable. I need a moms group like that too! 🙂
Thanks so much for joining in the hop! It takes awhile to get out of my comfort zone with nursing. I never nursed my twins in public and have kind of had to force myself to “just do it” this time because I know it’s the only way I can foster a good nursing relationship with Judah. Now that he’s turning into a chomping beast with his two little teeth I may have to stay away from NIP or people will really wonder what’s going on under my cover!
following you back!
@Erin – I’m curious to see what BFing is like once Rissa gets teeth. I know it’s still doable, just … well, it’ll bring about another adjustment period, I’m sure.
@Kristina – Thanks! 🙂