Some of you may be aware (if you follow me on Twitter or Facebook) that my paternal grandmother passed away yesterday in the wee hours of the morning.
I knew her life was coming to an end. She had a stroke when I was about 15 or 1 6 years old and has been in a nursing home since… that was about 15 years ago. Shortly before Christmas, my dad informed me that she wasn't doing very well and Hospice was recommended.
After my daughter was born, I was excited for her first Christmas this year. It would renew the holidays for me. For so many years, that time of year was rough… finances were often a challenge. But, when I was about 5 years old, I lost both of my grandfathers within about 11 days of each other between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
My paternal grandfather passed away while we were visiting for Christmas. I still remember that morning.
I tried not to dwell on that too much and focus on enjoying the holidays in a new way for my daughter – it'd be about her now.
Although I'm sad my gramma has passed, I'm glad it was after the new year… even if it was only 7 days before my birthday.
I wish she could have met Aerissa. We sent her a birth announcement and I hope she enjoyed it.
See, this is the time where guilt sets in about not visiting, calling, writing enough. She was about 2-2.5 hours away, so it's not like she was just down the block, but still…
Weather permitting, we will be traveling to the funeral, which normally would be a 3ish hour drive from where we live. With a baby, that trip will take longer, I'm sure.
But it's important for me to be there. For my gramma. For my dad.
And for me.
I didn't get to go to grampa's funeral. I was young, yes, but old enough to remember him and miss him. It sounds like I'll also get a chance to see some of my sisters that live out of state – I haven't seen them in years. The same goes for other extended family members. It's a shame to get together under such circumstances, but it will be nice to see everyone.
I know this wasn't the most cheerful post, but it helped me to write it out.
If you are interested in seeing a picture of her when she was a young woman, you can see it here, at the genealogy blog.
Although, this is one of my favorite photos of my gramma and grampa when they were young:
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