“Aren't you glad you lost enough weight to fit into that pretty dress?” said my grandmother as she snapped pictures before my first prom. I was thankful my date hadn't arrived yet to hear her double edged remark. If only she knew it was because I was skipping most of my meals. Can't gain weight from calories you don't eat, right?
This isn't an easy thing to admit, but it is something I'm concerned about since I've struggled with my weight and self-image for most of my life. I'm pretty good at feigning confidence in myself but behind closed doors I'm anxious about how people perceive me. I've been discounted a few too many times simply because of my large waistline.
Sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm not sure what I see.
Funny thing though, the extra padding on my bottom does NOT offer added protection to my feelings. Knowing how I've been hurt by loved ones and strangers alike… I could never wish my size upon my daughter.
In my article I talk about being overweight. When I was in junior high and high school I was probably only about 20ish pounds overweight (I'm totally guessing), but I fit comfortable in a size 8/10 unlike now where I'm 100ish pounds over my ideal weight and wear an 18/20.
Yeah, I can no longer refer to myself as overweight. A quick BMI calculation is a reality check that I'm considered obese.. borderline morbidly obese. Really? I don't look or feel that way. My daily functioning is not hindered. I can easily walk a couple miles at a time…
It's important to me that my daughter is healthy. I don't want her to develop an unhealthy relationship with food like I have. I want her to be better informed about healthy eating and not eat her emotions.
It starts with me and that scares the crap out of me.
And so I put it out there that I don't want my daughter to ever be “fat” in this article on BabyZone. I just had even more to say about it and why I wrote it.
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